When your head hits the pillow tonight, remind yourself that you’ve done a good job. You are headed down your path at your own pace, and with every obstacle you are trying your utmost best. Be patient with yourself, and remember that big things are achieved not all at once, but one day at a time.
The middle of recovery is awful. It does not feel good. There are moments where it will be clear why you are doing this, ones that will take your breath away. But a majority of the time you will question everything, your thoughts will be racing so much that you will feel like you can’t breathe. You will spend countless days wondering why things can’t be quiet, wondering why you are bothering to work so hard when not fighting would be effortless. Recovery does not feel good. If you are looking around you and are ashamed because you are not in love with this process, please, listen to me. Take a deep breath- It’s okay. It’s okay to hate it. It’s okay to say it sucks. It’s okay to want to give up, to struggle immensely, to be angry, to be uncomfortable (you should be!). and it’s okay to not understand why your smile still feels empty when your stomach is full again. Recovery does not feel good. For goodness sake, I hate it!!! Do not mistake my positivity for perfection. I am not walking through this fire gracefully. I burn and fall and become ashes. And every morning I rise and face the flames over and over again.
So please, do not beat yourself up if you are feeling like a failure for not being happy and perfect. Healing is not linear. And you are still brave.
